the manic hispanic

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Monday, April 29, 2002

What's up vatos locos? I would have written earlier, but on the night of my birthday I decided to drop kick a Jeep Cherokee and I fell flat on my ass. The next morning I woke up and my right hand was the size of a grapefruit. Upon waking up I thought I had gone Bushwick Bill and punched the street cause my hand was so swollen and bloodied. Other things that happened that I didn't realize till the next day when people informed me:.. I broke a glass ashtray over my head... I went up to the police on State St. and screamed," Fuck you, you fucking pigs. What the fuck are you going to do" They didn't do anything. I now believe they fear me. Fear. At the Pub while I was enjoying a nice game of shirtless air hockey some random dood kept on telling me how terrible I was and eventually I got fed up and through the puck and mallet at his chest. They tell me he wanted to fight, but I believe he was filled with fear. Fear. Mind you I don't remember doing any of these things. It was fun.

Let's here it for the presents that I got! A pair of red checkeredVans, which are hot. A Latrell Sprewell Starting Lineup figure circa his Golden State days(still in the box!) I can't wait to sell it on Ebay in 20 years along with my Gene Simmons doll and my A-Team lunch box... A purple ball, which is also very hot. A gift certificate for a one month membership to the Monkey Bar Gym. I don't know about this exercise thing, but I think others want to see me do it so I might as well.

Tuesday, April 23, 2002

For those of us born on: April 23
Happy Birthday: You'll be well disciplined in any pursuits you follow and cautious when dealing with others. You will want to change the people you care most about. Renovations to your home will turn out well this year. Your numbers are 8, 12, 15, 22, 31, 39 -- Birthday Baby: You have a way with words that adds to your charm and your personality. You have strong ideas and will stand up for your beliefs. You will always take the road less traveled in order to create an intellectual challenge.

...I've already taken 23 shots of Jager for breakfest. That's right folks, today is the day you've all been waiting for...My 23rd, GOLDEN birthday. Give it up for me cause I'm twenty three. Awwwyeah. Weather permitting the party will start on the rooftop of Parthenon. That's right, nothing says 23 like ouzo, beer, rooftops, and GYROANDFRY!. Then we will head to Paul's Club, then the Pub. Did I ever tell you that I found an actual pubic hair on my roommates beer at the Pub last week? Well I did. Apparently I'm getting presents from people too. I guess that's what happens when you've graduated, have no job, and been recently dumped...People feel sorry for you so they buy things to make you feel better. Thanks guys. In about twenty minutes I will venture down State St. and buy myself a pair of red checkered Vans. ooooooohhh, my feet will be looking good this summer. Every girl be wanting a piece of them toes. With out further hesitation I will now give you my list of things that I will try to accomplish in my 23rd year on this earth...

1. Make it to 24
2. Party hard
3. Find a girl who is sane/ or with sane friends/ or both
4. Find Osama
5. When drunk, stop telling people that you actually like System of a Down. I don't, I really don't.
6. When drunk, make sure the whole 200th block of N. Pinckney hears you from your porch. SPRING BREAK '97!
7. Less bubbles, more evil. I'm the fucking Prince of Darkness for Christ's sake.
8. Make sure every east coast girl outside of Stillwater's hates me at bar time. "It's not gonna suck itself."
9. Watch every World Cup game possible.
10. Last, but not least, make sure the Drunk Single Guy comes back with a vengance and fury like never before.

Oh yeah, and if you want to link me to your blog go ahead. There's been some inquires. I would do the same for you, but I don't know how. Sorry.

The girl with the beach ball called back...

Monday, April 22, 2002

I must share Liam's new pick-up line for the ladies...Now you must look at the girl in the eye, then look at your crotch, then look back at the girl in the eye and say...

"It's not gonna suck itself."

I can't wait to use it tomorrow night.

Sunday, April 21, 2002

Back to Madison I go... Duck Barglin better have fixed his car stereo. If not we are just going to have play the state license plate game again. I'm up 70 cents. Eagle eye. I got an eagle eye.

I come to you from my humble home in Glenview, IL. I hate Glenview, almost as much as Champaign. There is no life in either place and it feels like somebody dropped a bomb on both cities.

Even though I hate Champaign I did have quite the time on Friday night. I got to hang out with my crazy friend Liam and that was just crazy. Crazy. Alkaline Trio was awesome. They were sober and rocked my socks. They played like 16-17 songs, took requests, and invited everybody on stage to sing "Radio" at the end. Needless to say, Liamus and yours truly had a hold of the mic for a good two minutes. It was nuts. There was so many people on stage singing and jumping up and down, etc. The highlight of my singing was when I screamed into the mic,"when it's time to party, we will party hard" Overall the show ruled more than a ruler.

So I called the girl with the purple ball on Thursday night, but she wasn't home. When I tried to leave my number her roommate asked me if it was written on a beach ball...Yeah that's me.The beach ball guy. I'm smooth. Smooth. At least she kept the ball.

Less than two days till my birthday. 23, on the 23rd. Awnah! With that said, we here at The Manic Hispanic would like to start contest #2... If you come out on Tuesday night and buy me a drink we can be friends forever. This is much better than free beans. If interested you can email me and I will tell where the party is happening. There is a limit of five new friends though...

Thursday, April 18, 2002

1. Eight days straight of drinking and there ain't no stopping...Give it up for me cause I'm the fucking best.

2. The girl with the purple bouncy ball will get a call tonight. Wish me luck. Don't worry ladies if she doesn't agree to hang out I have plenty of purple bouncy balls to hand out.

3. I'm starting to feel sick. I wonder if it has anything to do with #1?

4.I am going to Champaign tomorrow to see the Alkaline Three. Champaign smells bad.

5. The Alkaline Trio is going on tour with Sum41 in the fall. That's a wack ass concert.

6. I turn 23 in 5 days. 23 on the 23rd. GOLDEN The party will be happening either at the Pub, Paul's Club, or my pants.

7. Did I just say in my pants? I'm sorry.

8. The World Cup starts in 1 month and one week.

9. The citizens of Ireland are asking their government to switch the clocks so that the Irish clocks match the clocks in Korea/Japan(sites of the Cup).

10. There is still only one winner...I can't give away the prizes or even start a new contest until I have two winners. Free Beans

Saturday, April 13, 2002

Hey bro-bros, so I am happy to say that not having a girlfriend right now is really nice cause I can now focus on the important things in life like drinking. Whenever you have a girlfriend it seems like the drinking levels go down and you become all lame. You stay in and watch movies instead of going out and such and that's just lame.

Last night my heart tapped me on my shoulder and whispered in my ear "don't be a pussy all your life" and I walked up to a nice girl who I've had a crush on for a while and it actually worked. All you have to do is say hello. She now has our giant purple bouncy ball with my number on it. I'm really smooth. Smooooth.

Thursday, April 11, 2002

There is only one winner so far...come on people, work with me. I mean for christ's sake I'm giving away free beans. Free beans! So that one person probably knows who they are. You have a tough choice ahead of you. Beans or DJ Kool. I would consider yourself lucky either way. Now if I can only get one more winner...

If this contest succeeds I'm thinking about running some more contest... How's about a ticket to the Chemical Brothers/Oakenfold/Sasha&Digweed show in Chicago next week? Or a date with yours truly(this only applies to the female population.Sorry guys)? Huh? Doesn't that sound good? Well then step it up and claim your beans! Or that musical masterpiece that I am so kindly giving away.

Went out to lunch with the ex today. I think the beginning of some closure occurred. She's still a nice girl.

Wednesday, April 10, 2002

...And since I'm offering two prizes there can be two winners. And when there is two, the two will be announced.

The winner gets their choice of:

1. A can of El Ebro beans- This isn't that bullshit you would find at Woodman's or any other lame grocery store in Madison. This is the real deal Cuban style black beans. I only have two cans left so consider yourself lucky if you win.

2. A copy of DJ-Kool's maxi single for "Let Me Clear My Throat" If you want to get the party started right all you have to do is pop this puppy into your boom box and you'll have all the kids screaming "oohhh, oohhh!"

Actually you would just need some Ludacris for that to happen, but it will still be a good time and you'll feel like your at a really cool party during your senior of high school which actually wasn't that cool and which also made you spend 6 dollars the next day on a bad cd.

If ya'll wanna party like we do let me hear you say, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah!

Clem Snide. Clem Snide. Clem Snide. After Monday night they have cracked my top ten. Somewhere between The Clash and O-Town .

We here at The Manic Hispanic would like to set up a contest built out of curiousity. The first person to read this blog who emails back stating they have read this blog wins a prize. Good luck.

Saturday, April 06, 2002

I'm going crazy. For real.

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

So it looks like blogger ate some of my post from Saturday. I'll try and finish the story at another time. Don't mess

Like I said, no matter where you go the drama will follow you. I just wish it would all go away. Go away